Just Another Dream

For the past 18 years, I have always buried a little pleasure in my mind. To taste every kind of cheese all over the world may be one, and to drive a caterpillar maybe another one. But dancing is something that I would do unconsciously, somehow, the one that I even didn't understand I was totally carried away when having all those moves.

I remember the day after each mid-terms in junior high, when I got home, I would let the music put on in portable stereo in my room which was also my stage and all of my joints and muscles would be enliven by each beat and each rhythm. This was the way I released all the tension and stress. And the way I would bring myself to life. I was so rejoiced that I started to create my own moves even which actually looked quite silly for pro. Nobody taught me how to dance, and it seemed that none of my family would see dancing as one of their hobbies. I didn't know who set the fire on my desire to dance. Probably this is the gift that God gave to to enjoy one more pleasure in my lifetime to learn, to enjoy and to appreciate.

My big brother told me having the ability to appreciate one thing is happiness. If you can see something as a treasure which someone else see as a trash, you become happier. That's because you know how to cherish and how to appreciate.

Unfortunately, dream may be forgotten from time to time, especially when you're freaking involved in the so-called bread and butter. Anyway, after roughly four or five years which my life was just full of a moutain of textbooks, exams and crap, I took back my dream from lost-and-found. I found the flow through my veins again. I found the feeling when the bass hit a beat on my heart again.

I'm blessed to appreciate lots of cool things in my life.

Firstly, drawing, then table tennis, basketball, English, rap, music, moonwalk, graffiti, beatbox, English speech and now dancing. None of this, mostly, can be seens as a career which parents will be proud of. And none of which I can call myself a pro. But I know how to love them, just like the way I do to my friends. As long as I do have passion, I can play big and dream big.

Out-of-this-world Experience

As most of American put it when bumping into a situation shocking enough to make them speechless, they yell out, "Oh my god." Oh my god! Oh mein Gott! Where am I? Can anyone out there understand everything can change overnight? Like the world upside down? Have anyone had the experience that haunts your mind or uses up your words to explain like I have?

At that moment, I felt a little bit upset, a little bit easy, a little bit weird, a little bit untrue. Even though I was still rational enough to speak, my mind was all stuck and the air was actually suffocating. What I have always been scared of suddenly happened without any precaution. However, after that, I started to doubt myself whether or not this was the situation that I was frightened the most, since somehow I felt easy and comfortable in front of you. The most difficult question for me unbelievably solved the most embarrassing status just right after your confession. I was the up in the air. Well, the story was up in the air. The music we love was put on. We sang, we chatted. I thought it was almost gonna be the plan. The plan I was maybe dreaming about and strangely afraid of. The plan I couldn't plan to have a definitely happy ending. But it all suddenly ended in a way that I've never imagined. I can tell how brave you were when you were saying that and that just makes me realize you trust me. I slept for more than 11 hours the day after that night which was quite unusual for me. I guess my mind needed to take a rest to figure out where I am and what the status quo is. Now I definitely, or maybe, sort of understand why I take it as a happy ending instead of a depressing story which I expected I would.

Four-word letters are categorized as parental guidance. And there is another four-word letter which human beings pray for and struggle with for centuries. It can be easy, complicated, happy, sad, red, blue, chocolate or anything. But I think the trust you have in me is much better than that. Freundschaft is a longer word, but I believe it's much easier to learn and practice.

We don't even get it started yet, and we'll never. All those frustration, depression and downfall are easily skipped.

Do you believe falling in love with oneself is actually possible and true? I set an example. And I made it romantic. Ha, well, I believe I did. But this is far different from narcissus!

Salute! Toast to me, toast to you, toatst to the lesson you gave me.