Tunnel Vision

We all know that when driving thorugh a tunnel, everyone needs to be careful of bumping against each other because of the narrow lane. When putting the "tunnel" word into our daily lives, it's also quite at stake that tunnel vision can result in a catastrophic life, especially you have no idea it's you that have a tunnel vision.

I did learn a lesson from some of my friends. By observing their moves and acts as an outsider, I found that having a tunnel vision dragged me into a black hole showering me with sadness and disappointment. However, I, fortunately, woke up in time and climed out from that black hole and also left the tunnel to see there was still a wonderful world waing for me to experience.

Trying to figure out the choas, I finally find out where the problems lie. I just put a wrong emphasis on the wrong part of my life. When amplifying what I lack the most, I definitely am trying to kill myself. Frustration should be erased instead of being embedded. Several weeks ago, those annoying problems were getting too serious for me to overcome. But now, everytime I look back on that, it's just kind of stupid.

I don't know if I truly find the right way to look at the certain sadness, but I do, at least, know how to take a detour to appreciate the sunshine behind those heavy dark clouds. At times, people have nightmares which we can't avoid facing. We just need to be waken whether by others or by ourselves. Interestingly, we are usually waken up by a wrong-set alarm or a blowing bladder. Funny is that nightmare, finally, ends to nothing. And it's always the smallest and trivial thing that saves us.

Not A Joke

So I wasn't sure my life has been a comedy, a tragedy, a gossip, a cinderella's story or nothing. Everytime I hear someone's complaint, I just couldn't be more delighted that I'm the luckiest girl in the world. Well, everytime I feel the happiness of someone spreading all over and splashing, I just couldn't take it and grin it easily. Why can't I feel sympathetic for someone in need and share the joy with someone being pleased? Once the world is up side down, it's somehow much more acceptable. I think I'm just a little bit sick of the upright world. However, once I jump out of my little messy mind, and think outside the box, all I've been whining and worried about seem not even a piece of ..... . (You can fill in the blank whatever comes to your mind.)

I've been convincing myself to believe I'm learning from torture, and then the bitter will taste sweet. I keep telling myself I'm learning. I keep learning myself being told to learn. Thus, I start to doubt what the hell I am learning. Learn to accept? Learn to escape? If it's latter, then it would be a vicious circle which pulls me down even further. I can tell why I will choose to escape if I really do so. Not being hurt! Not willing to face how weak I am! But it'll just never be the answer to my comedy, my tragedy, my gossip or my cinderella's story.

Face it! Face the music! Face how weak I am! And see how strong I can be! Prepare the best sword for myself and also prepare the best shield for myself. But why not just take the bullet out of the gun?

Maybe the one with a rifle is the weakest cinderella.

Crash a Crush

Okay, I just almost finished my biggest event in November, the midterms. Ever since I felt the strees from them, I haven't had a good and sweet sleep so that zits are coming out and make me look awkward. Good news is that I start to steal back my sleeping time and rearrange my messy days caused by the midterms. Nevertheless, bad news is that since the winter is finally coming - well, I'm not going to complain about the cold and wet weather - there's actually something that's more annoying and complicated.

I know it was gonna happen someday in the future, but I just kept that behind and never expected when it would take place. But, you still can't stop it from happening. One of my friends told me whenever winter comes, whenever it's getting much colder out there, some people will somehow lose thier spirits and seriously fall for someone who has the same "syndrome." When seasons changing, people get close and get accompanied. Summer comes, vice versa, people separate for biological reasons, maybe, at least I guess so.

I wish them all my wishes, though I do hear about an example that she jumped out of the season love and found her ration back in time. That's pretty understanding not only for the guy she was hanging out, but also for herself.

I confessed that I was one of those patients who lost their ration during seasons changing, luckily, though I woke up before disaster happens. I call it a disaster because I'm afraid I cannot keep the promise with a strange crush. If I let my motion goes first, at the end, both sides will definitely get hurt.

Real Dream

Just find out a poem I wrote when I was 17. It' called Real Dream:

Stop crying myself to sleep
Dreaming is not realistic
Every time when the day breaks
Why do I feel so unrest
Because I dreamed a dream
Dream that I was in heaven
The shadow looked transparent
It's a blurry dream
Though my eyes were wide-open

I couldn't tell what I really wanted to express, but I do understand how I felt when those words were coming out through my mouth. I remember that I put an emphasis on the last sentence, which shows the main idea of this poem. I feli like dreaming, though my eyes were wide-open. This is how ambivalence feels like. Not so ture, not fake, either. That was a hard time for me. Even by now, I somehow can taste bitter between words and lines.

The Language of Friendship and Love

The language of friendship. The language of love. Well, I couldn't understand how deep the gap is between these two similar and obscure human talks. Instead of asking what you have for dinner and where you are, does the language of love contain something unspeakable? I'm impressed that however subtle the facial expressions are, we somehow get to know what others are thinking, or at least make a guess.

There are conversation struck up by saying "love you" in the language of friendship, and definitely so does the language of love. But, what interests me is that how we distinguish the definition of love between friends from the definition of love with the right one. So, this is also what makes relationships go more complicated than usual when it comes to the same sex rather than the opposite sex.

As for me, I don't have the experience of being confused about the above mentioned problem, same-sex illusion, whereas I think I've gone through a problem called "love-blind," which I thought I would never have. I'm always armed with the ability to observe in advance and escape in the end. Therefore, the illusion will disappear right in time and leave no doubt. I was proud of it, since every time it's always me that took control. Later on, I failed once. After that, I couldn't speak in the right language.

"You expressed it in a wrong way."

"There is no such thing as pure relationship between man and woman at your age."

"Don't you know that means a lot?"

Maybe, I should take a course called language use,unlimited worldwide version.

Life is good

Quite different from the life I had half a year ago, these days are more relaxing and it feels like, now, I do take control over my 24 hours. I thought being busy and breathless can make someone stronger and more sophisticated, at least not fooling around and wasting time. Then, after listening to my own feeling, I just realize that there is no reason to push yourself too hard if you don't care any of it.

I know pressure paves the path to success, pushes you up to the sky, and tastes bad. By being stressed out, many people, at the end, take the lead because they put efforts on it. Well, they deserve. But, there are just a world of competitions and contests, how can you be the first place in a row? Who says you must win all the time? When I feel the weight of tension and stress on my shoulder, I have no time to appreciate any little but beautiful things around me. When I'm beat, I know all parts of my body are on protest. When I just rush into a classroom in the morning and think about what I'm gonna do in the afternoon, I notice that I'm not concentrating on anything. I hate my thoughts being cut off. I hate always being in a rush and at the end feeling exhausted in bed. I hate having no time to review my days. Busy days do bring me a lot of achievements. But I need time to construct what I've learn and what I've lost, I need some spaces to look in a mirror and see what I look like, and what I am.

I've wondered what fixing chores and running errands can teach me besides arranging time. Is that necessary to do everything at the same time? Is that a good ability? Unfortunately, I always do one thing each time only. I can't divide myself into several parts to do things. Does it suck? Or isn't that appreciated? I don't know.

I love the way I live for these days. I do, maybe because textbooks are not that disgusting for me. The first semester in freshman year was lame. The second semester in freshman year was totally in a "rush." And now, I love being a sophomore. It's not that lame and not that noisy.

Hope it won't be the end

I've questioned myself whether I made a worng choice or not. There were thousands of IFs which freaked me out like crazy. If I didn't, If I wasn't , If I haven't, what would it be? I thought I truly had a person that I could confide in because it's much safer for an outsider to be a listener. I thought the ages could be like a pillow for me to lie on because at least you had more chapters of life than I did. I thought the miles could result in the contact between pens and papers which are more interesting and memorable than the virtual words. But all those IFs are going to be "real. " I even dreamed that was all kidding jokes and everything could start all over again. I do need a person that can share some precious experience instead of the complicated word starting with an L .

It's not hate, but a... dislike

Hanging out with friends, going out until the night ends, everytime I spend all my time being with friends, it just feels so good to have a talk that I willl never forget. It's pretty common that we all forget the colck is still running and the life never comes to an end. However, after all those parties, all those hangover come the emptiness. I don't understand where that feeling comes from, but I do feel it definitely every time.

When it comes to gathering with families, strangely, it never happens. No matter how long I stay in my cousin's house or how late I go out with my dad and mom, actually, I feel more fulfilled than any parties or meetings. So what the hell is wrong with that?

There are some girls' talks that strengthen my thoughts and expand my horizons, but, from time to time, there are still some situations that I do fake it and pretend to be someone that is not me at all. Why am I doing this? Probably, I just get bothered by some pet peeves and I related them to the wrong side. I'm the one to blame.

Is immigration that desirable?

There are lots of Taiwanese being jealous of those living abroad legally and permanently. As a Taiwanese, I do feel envious of their luck and courage to immigrate to a new country and try to blend in a whole different society. I have asked myself, "Why do I want to leave?" Aren't there any benefits to stay where I was born? What in the earth does it attract me to go somewhere people don't see you as a native?

My aunt is a Swiss immigrant from Taiwan. I always wish I could be like her someday in the future so that I can live in the so-called "Garden of the World." The pictures she sent back on Christmas every year are always the best incentives for me to go abroad. A tranquil cottage on a summit of a mountain, a deliberate coffee shop along a river bank and a wonderful birthday party of my cousin with their neighbors. Those pictures all look like a fantastic life for me to dream about.

This July, she came back home with Peter and Daniel, her husband and her son. I finally had a chance to talk in German with those two Swiss guys and also I chatted a lot with my aunt. I asked her, "How is the life there?" "If those two are not home, what do you do to kill time?" And I found that the life there, as a immigrant, is actually not that easy as I imagined. My aunt told me Swiss would be very kind to you just to a certain extent and they will set a line which you must not cross. They have a strong sense of protection, owing to a large amount of immigrants from Turkey and East Europe. Swiss are, as a matter of fact, very careful of getting along with immigrants. They don't want to have a close relationship with people who are not originally born there.

My mom said during the first year when my aunt living in Switzerland, whenever she made a phone call to my mom or my grandpa, she always cried a lot and kept saying she missed home like crazy and asked us to visit her more often. Taiwanese are the minority in Switzerland so, in reality, it's pretty hard for a immigrant to make friends with locals or any other people when being a housewife or a mom. The center of my aunt's life is taking care of her husband and son, instead of any other things or someone else. She may still build some hobbies or learn something when she is free, but whenever it comes to the Chinese New Year or the Moon Festival, all she need is definitely "home."

I have recently questioned myself, "You really want to get to have the citizenship of the U.S.?" There are millions of people-or more- in the world longing to leave their own country and get the citizenship of somewhere else, but what are yo gonna do after that? To start a new life? To pursue the happiness? But how? It's like your own background and family bound getting shattered in seconds. How can you overcome it?

I was thinking...

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The three magical effects of music

What’s your definition of music? Is it simply a sound or a noise? I think music means harmony, memory, and feeling. A song may remind you of the good old days in one of your summer breaks. A song may remind you of the time you hold your friends’ hands tight. A song may also remind you of many faces that you’ve met. Nobody can doubt that music has a strong impact on our lives. I think music is one of the most amazing things in the world. Since you can’t touch it, you can’t smell it, you can’t even see it, you still can listen to it and feel it. Today, I’m going to show you three magical effects that music has.

The first magical effect is expressing. Where words fail, music speaks. Victor Hugo said “Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent.” Music helps us to wordlessly understand ourselves and others, to communicate when there are no words to create through disabilities and barriers. Music is always there when you may be at a loss of words, not know what to say or when words just can’t express your true feeling and emotions. Language alone is not possible. Gareth Gates, a British singer, came second in the first series of the TV talent show Pop Idol. (His best known song is Anyone of Us.) Since he was little, he had struggled with stutter which is a speech disorder that will let your flow of speech disrupted. On his first audition, there were many involuntary silent pauses during his self-introduction. However, when he came to sing, the judges’ chins all dropped and they were all surprised by his talented singing ability. Although he had difficulties speaking, he had no problem singing out who he is and what he thinks. As a quote goes, "Song is the heroics of speech."

The second effect is to accompany. I don’t have the problem like Gareth Gates’. I won’t stutter but I can’t sing, either. Speaking of music, I’m passive. I’m always the one that get influenced by music. Every time I turn on the music player, my minds will go up and down with the pitch getting high and low. Music is like a memoir to me. Some specific songs can remind me of the places that I have been or people that I have met.

One day, just when I had left my hometown for almost a month, I step into a restaurant alone to have dinner. Surrounded by so many strangers and got totally drowned in sorrow due to homesick, my heart was full of tears. However, I tried to pretend that I was courageous and strong, so I wore a fake smile on my face all day long. Suddenly, a song was sung by the speaker. The melody came out and flew into my ears and my heart. The song is called Postman by Carpenters, which was definitely played during the dinner with my family. We have a radio in our kitchen. And this song is my Mom’s favorite. It felt like my whole world was crippled at that moment. I could no longer hold up me tears. As the melody flew, my tears fell. I believe that everyone more or less has the same feeling or same experience as me. As you can tell, we are all controlled and all hypnotized by music. Words may desert us, but music is always present – like a heartbeat, linking us to our world and providing a pathway back “home.” As a quote goes, "Music was invented to confirm human loneliness."

The third effect is to comfort. A study indicates that people get calm more easily by listening to music. Patients will feel less anxious if there is a symphony played in the waiting room of a hospital. There will be less robbery in the train station if soft music is played. Take myself for example, if I get exhausted from study, I’ll play rock and roll to perk me up. If I’m excited about something, I’ll play pop music to celebrate. If I feel blue or upset, I’ll play R and B to get my stress released. Sometimes, you are just too mad or too sad to even shout out a word to express yourself. Then, music is the only thing that you can rely on. "Words are poor interpreters in the realms of emotion. When all words end, music begins.”

As the three magical effects that I’ve mentioned, it is obvious that without music, life is a journey through a desert. Music is to express, to accompany and to comfort. As the most well-known opera tenor singer, Luciano Pavarotti, said "You don't need any brains to listen to music, because good music is very close to primitive language."

Memoir

This is a confession: I didn't have a good time when I was a freshman. There were still something I was really happy for, but not much. I felk like I was exposed to many things that I wasn't familiar with, and that really made me feel unsafe and uncomfortable. When the 2nd week of the first year in college past, I thought I was good at being with myself. But, later, I found I wasn't at all. I was weak, weak enough like a fragile glassware easily breaking down whenever being hit. I think this can answer the question why I often go home to take a rest. Home sheltered me from being hurt.

I thought my problem was solved.

After the depressing finals, I went home for summer break and felt "finally" safe. But, things are not that easy. I somehow felt something unusual after thoroughly talking with my Mom and Dad about my problem. I found I wasn't growing up and was still a kid banking on parents all the time. The problem wasn't solved, not even close. I felt frustrated at that moment, not because the environment is changing, but because I wasn't changing.

This July, I gave myself some time and space to rethink who I am, what I am or what the hell I'll be. I didn't find the answers, but I collected some thoughts from the bottom of my mind.

Then the most exciting month, August, came! I've waited for this August like a whole year. As my previous plan, I saw this trip as a vacation to relax myself, not to discover myself. However, plan can never be the plan. I experienced lots of things that I wasn't expected to. I felt like I found the answers.

In reality, right now, everytime some of my friends ask me about, "How was New York?" "What did you do?" I'm always like, "Um...just looking around, all that tourists stuff." But, you know what? What I really gained is beyond words. I can't really speak them out. Those things I treasured from this trip are spiritual, not physical. (Anyway, frankly, I still enjoy shopping in NY. It was crazy!)

Precaution

Speaking of premarital sex, I've never "deeply" pondered this issue before. I was always like, "hmm...it's okay...uh, maybe it depends." Since Justin talked about his own opinion on his blog and put his words baldly, that just inspired me to think about this problem seriously.

To be frank, I don't know where to start and even don't know how to end up this article. There are just too many conditions needed to be considered. When I was little - at least little enough to understand sex and marriage - I never saw divorce as one of my plans. Later, as I grow up, divorce seems to be not a big deal anymore. I can't tell you what changes my view which I also have no idea where comes from. I guess it's possibly from American media...like hollywoods, where people take divorces as common as doing drugs.

Contraception! I have to clear my position first. Since I'm female, I side with women against men. There is no way having sex without contraception. Guys may like, "Yeah, yea... condoms ruin everything." Hold on! Do you know an unexpected baby ruins two lives? If the guy is at least made of responsibility, that baby will change more things than what a condom does. You think an orgasm is more important than your future? No way. Guys may debate, "Come on, you can't hold it! Do you girls really like that?" I'd say... Yes! Contraception means a lot! It means being free from STD, AIDS, abortion, among others. Ha, it sound like I'm a condom seller.

Premarital sex happens when two people don't get married and get laid. When there is no marriage, there is no promise, no responsibilities. It won't matter if those two are ready for a new life or if nothing happens. But what if there IS a heartbeat growing strong? Who will take the aftermath? Most likely, women do. However, there are still some happily-ever-after stories after premarital sex, but rarely.

Some say marriage is just a piece of paper which is symbolized by human beings only as a promise. I know marriage is a civilized result of law and order, we are living under the system though. You want to break it? Then leave the public and don't take education and health care insurance for granted.

If you can't take the responsibility, please hold on for a sencond, for men and women both. Premarital sex is serious only when life is seen as a game. But if those two are happy for it, responsible for it and ready for it, then premarital sex is nothing at all. I mean, what's wrong with having a good time with the one you "love"?

To Popcorns

No matter how long it has been since the last time we met, the last call we made, I can be myself for real once we get along together. I don't know how to name that feeling. Four of us are like 4 broken pieces matching each other with no doubt. Basically, if I haven't met someone for a long time, I will always act a little bit awkwardly for unfamiliarity. But, you guys can never be the usual case. You all are so close, so ture, so exceptional that I feel I'm the luckiest person in the world.

By and large, I don't usaully cry so easily and comfortably. Tears only show up when the door is closed. However, rules are meant to be broken, and you guys break that silence for me. I do feel like being myself when tears falling down in front of you. While I'm looking at you, it's like looking in a mirror, no more hate, no more fake. You guys are so unique and alike that make me feel secure and protected.

Now I don't give a damn what I have to face right ahead. All I believe and understand is that at least I'm so blessed to have you there and back me up whenever I'm going to collapse. We don't share the same blood or origin, but we share the same dream and belief, and those are something makes me strong and open-minded.

I love you so much.

Jet lag teaches me something

Jet lag is really an interesting physical syndrome. Even though I was completely stressed out from the commute and my baggages, I just couldn't fall asleep. Contrarily, when I was watching a great film on my comfy chair, I fell asleep without dozing off. I felt like I was not with my own body, which was really weird. But, this sort of feeling reminds me of those bad days of heavy work for tests. Everytime you want to improve yourself to the top of the sky, it often ends up with your own footprints hitting down in line. In other words, is the sky the limit? No, it is your health condition that pulls you down down down.

We love Central Park

As a matter of fact, I got nothing to do for these couples days, even so I still found I was busy doing something ordinary but unforgettable. Have I spent like 3 hours lying on the grass and being kissed by the sun before? Or have I grabbed a homemade sandwich and enjoyed it in the shadow of a big tree? When was the last time I truly listened to the song of the nature? Well, I don't know, but I had those little but philosophic experience in New York which people consider to be a city with no green.

"We have Central Park!" said by New Yorker. "Yeah, right! A field surrounded by pollution," I debated, "Nah, I'm kidding, I mean, you know I love Central Park as much as you do," I giggled.

Taking a stroll in Central Park is totally a different experience than ever. It's pretty easy to imagine what it would be like when being surrounded by trees, but can you imagine trees and skycrapers are 360 degree standing around you in a cirlce? This is just so interesting that you will feel like staying in an oasis of a city desert. The only one different thing is that the sand is replaced by the dust.

People out of the park wear suits and heels while people in the park wear bikinis and shorts. Kids out of the park sit in strollers while kids in the park race like no other. In Central Park, we all share a little bit of laziness and feel the gentle touch of breeze and sunshie. Central Park really turns off each ticks of the clocks and gives Manhattan a path to silence and release. We all know that mother nature is the thing we truly believe in, so Central Park will definitely be the place you never want to miss.

How to walk in New York

There was a slogan on Duane Reade drug store ads: Take everything you need in 15 minutes, or as New Yorkers call it, lunch hour.

I was like, "Wow, New Yorkers really live their days in such a fast pace?! No wonder they never have lunch on table." 24 hours are all rush hours. However, contrarily, though there are 8 million people in New York, all you bump into on the 5th Avenue is tourists, other tourists and still other thousands of tourists. Comparing the speed they walk through the town with New Yorkers', wow, it seems like heaven and the H-E-double-L. If a tourists suddenly pauses for a snapshot, that would be like a crap blocking up on the sidewalk. Who's gonna piss off? New Yorkers! Since they work here, they don't have the patience waiting you for a goofy smile. I guess they must hate the tourists using much sapce to take a photo with a CHANEL bag on 5th Avenue or a photo with the flashing bulletin on the Time Square. They hate it because it's already crowded here, and all you people just fly all the way down here and steal their air to take a breath.

Broadway broadens your horizons

Live show is irreplaceable!

I have watched the Cats DVD, The Phantom of the Opera DVD, the Lion King DVD and maybe hundreds of DVDs, but nothing is going to bring down the house like live shows.

The Phantom of the Opera, Broadway's longest-running musical, is such a sad love story that made the two old ladies sitting behing me burst into tears. Owing to my own listening disability, I could't really catch every words slipping from their mouths, especially with a British traditional accent. Anyway, I was still mesmerized by the melody and the choreography. Everytime the theme song flew through the musical hall, it kept me having goose bumps out of surprise and touch. It's such a pity that I couldn't understand the purpose of each scene and the lyrics of each song, and this was probably the reason I didn't cry like the two old ladies sitting behind me. I knew the outline but not the details. But, I love it! This is just all I can say.

If you don't agree with me, that's okay. But if you don't agree with the public response, well, that may be your problem. haha

Broadway is professional, like listening to a lecture in college, while Off-Broadway, which ticket price is much more friendly, is like listening to a talk show. A lecture can teach you something deep, deep as a black hole containing mystery. Well, a talk show is like a laughing-your-ass-off time, when you are brain dead for the time being.

Blue Man Group, an Off-Broadway show, dosen't have the so-called friendly ticket price. What they have is much more expensive price and a few seats available per show. Two prices: $78 or $68. What?! You serious? That's even much pricier than some of the Broadway shows! There must be some reasons, right?

Think about it, Blue Man is an Off-Broadway show. They don't tell some literature art work, while they bring you joy and laughter. Different from other Off-Broadway shows, even the price as high as the skyscrapers in Manhattan, their tickets are still often sold out, 24/7. They prosper, and grow stronger. Right now, their name is household. As for poor students, yes, they offer special limited tickets. And the chance is like winning a lottery. But, the other night, me and my brother were the winners! It was true! We got the limited tickets at the last second. $29 each. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA!!!

Anyway, the point is not the price, is it?! The point is that Blue Man is just too awesome! I'm not going to tell you what they did during the show or how unbelievable they were, because that will ruin the mystery, imagination and your expectation.

Just go for it and enjoy it, I mean, if there is a chance... (wow, this is kind of bitchy. XD)

Yanks, you almost eat up the earth

I just have to announce something: American should stop overeating. This announcement may not have any effect on people living in a big city, such as Manhattan. But, to those who live in the surburbs or any other towns in the U.S, please stop OVEREATING and exercise more to save yourself and save the earth.

Whenver I go to a mall in uptown or just drive a hour more away from the city, it seems that everything is going to be magnified. Cars are getting bigger, seats are getting larger, roads are getting wider, and most important of all, people are getting fatter, I mean super-max-over fatter than they should be. And those who try to help them live better, invent something so convenient that they don't even have to move their fingers to open a door and walk without any steps. How do they do that? Tech! State-of-the-art tech help them save more energy, conserve their calories, and consume more electricity, destroy more trees.

Foods are all over the continent of the America. Who can deny that? As a baby or teen, they are so blessed to have so many dairy products (the best milk and wonderful cheese) to build their bones and muscles. As a result, they never lack in calcium or protein which Asian kids do. They grow stronger, taller than most of Asian teens. However, after reaching their 50's, they don't change the habit of eating protein and so many high-calories food which is good for the young but bad for the old. Then, diabetes, heart attack, stroke, high blood pressure, obesity, arthristis and thousands of disease pop up to shorten their lives or just kill them in one second. I just have seen so many elders hanging their big butts or grabbing their lovely handles to move across lobby. When those fat American running upstairs, it seems that you're watching a motion picture in a slow move. They grab stair rails, pant, sweat and hope the government should build the hell escalators everwhere around the city and in every buildings even though they are just trying to reach the second level.

Also, since they always have anything oversized, they waste them all. They throw food, clean toilet paper, any kinds of recyclable things in trash can, not to mention recycling. They really have no idea how to recycle. Ironically, many American company claim they care about the environment and keep producing green, eco-friendly stuff but they just don't print any flyers or ads teaching you which kind of materials bottles belong to or paper is RECYCLABLE!

May I have your attention, please, most of the Americans? Save the earth. Stop eating and think about what you can do to improve the environment.


The picture just shows how tired I was after visiting the Metropolitan Museum. Because I really have no idea most of the display and those holy art work pieces, the ugly doll face shows my confusion. XD

Why the peeve?

I don't know. Such a stranger, not a complete one but a true one. Frankly, I don't want to talk about it. Things have past and I hope that won't last ever and never. I'm not going to thank someone for that experience. Generally, this was supposed to be wonderful and unforgettable. I should appreciate all those memory and stuff. But... it just didn't turn to that way. The most gross thing is that pair of goddamn human hands. Those stupid things ruined everything. Anyway, I think there is no way I would treat it right as the past. Probably, it was my fault not to make it clear. Hold on ... I think I have made it clear enough, but it seemed that the jerk couldn't get it all right and kept doing things like that. I don't want to hurt you at all, but I've got to say it out loud. Even though this is posted on the Internet, it IS the whole f***in' truth. Yes, the ugly truth. Oh my god, this is just so disgusting whenever I look back on it.

Leave it, and leave me alone.

Questions are better than orders

"Mom, how do I look?" "No, honey, I think you should try on this one." The Mom was frowning. "I think it's cute! I'll take it," the girl insisted.

From baby, kid to teen, I think most of what I say, think, do and wear are somehow decided by my parents. I'm not saying that they are dictators or something, while what I mean is why they didn't encourage me to make the decisions on my own. Their decisions gave me the sense of security which I've always relied on. I appreciated all thier efforts and care. But... isn't it too much?

I've shopped a lot recently, though this is not the point. XD The point is that I just found Amreican teenage girls know what they're gonna wear so well. "Mom, I think this is much better!" "That one sucks!" "Oooh~ Mommy, this dress is so cute!" Why didn't I act like this when I was a little girl? I was always like, "Mom, which one is better?" "Mom, what do you think? I don't know which one suits me." I had no idea what I'd like to wear. I mean, independencs and confidence can start from these daily stuff, don't they? I wonder why everytime I prefered something, there was always a person telling me, "No, you shouldn't," instead of "You really think so? then take it." I think a question mark is much better than an order, an imperative tone, which is what American education discourages.

They know who they are, what they're gonna be, and what they like. Because thier parents and teachers always give them a question, they definitely (well, maybe) have answers in thier own minds. However, I (or we Chinese), was always asked to listen to instead of speaking. Therefore, we don't have answers and thoughts since we're not asked and not supposed to ask.

If there were no questions, how come there would be any answers?
If there were no questions, how come there would be any thoughts?
Education throws you questions, and learning teaches you how to catch them. Like baseball, if you learn well, you hit a home run.

New York, a country?!

There is an ad slogan written on a pharmacy store, Duane Reade, which is the top convenience store in New York City. The slogan says that, "No other American city is so intensely American as New York."

No, I don't think so. As a matter of fact, I have the opposite thought. New York is not the most American city in the United States. Contrarily, New York can be the most non-American city in the United States. Why is that?

When you ask someone from New York that, "Hey, where are you from?" He or she is definitely going to answer you like, "Oh, I'm from New York," instead of, "Oh, I'm from the United States." Apparently, they see themselves as New Yorkers not Americans, even New York City or New York State governed by the Federal Law. It's probably that New York City is such a big city that it's most likely people will forget where the hell the president is. So, Stop saying that New York City is the capital of the United States! But if you say it's the capital of the world... well, I'm not going to deny that. It really is! Anyway, because New York can be the capital of the world, it naturally attracts people from every corner in the world. And the diversity turns to be the best feature of New York. So is New York that American? No, it's universal.

In the past, New York state was called the Empire State and this was exactly how the name of the Empire State Building came from. Though New York may not be the most biggest town in the world right now, it's still a city that has its own charm and fantasy. And I believe it will be.

Most of all, you can grab any kinds of food in Manhattan. Like, American, Mexican, Italian, German, French, Jewish, Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese, Korean, Indian, Cuban, Turkish, and so on. In New York, there is just no such thing as too close.

Cool dancing Mom

This is a video clip I captured in the film festival. The cool Mom just grabbed all my attention. Watch how she danced and you will realize you CAN'T dance. Remember to look close to her face move. She is really a cool Mom. XD

I just attended a film festival in Boston. In fact, I've read film festival thing in a book before, but I still really didn't understand what it was all about until that Saturday, 08, Aug.

At any certain square, Americans can have lots of fun altogether. Wherever there is a lawn, a marsh or a plaza, they can hold an activity for families, friends and visitors. Before the moive was put on, the host kept having games for children and lead everyone to do their moves along with the music. I felt like I was one of them at that moment, though almost 99% people were American. With a blanket, a picnic box or a beach chair, American weekend can be really laid-back and chilling out. Kids were all so excited and parents also. Those Dad and Mom and grandpa, grandma were all so relaxed that it seemed like they don't have anything to worry about. This is the way they lead their lives. Speaking of work, they are experts. Speaking of having fun, they are pros, too. No matter if they are 5 or 82, enjoying life is something they can do.

The toilet stuff

In terms of the trash we do manufacture by ourselves, that must be the restroom matter. When traveling, toilets can be as important as water, and even money. You drink and you pee. This is how nature works , you know. Anyway, I'm not going to discuss about the best gesture to pee when using the public toilet or how to ignore the mess that the former user made. I have been to the U.S. twice and I just found an interesting thing. Well, maybe it's not that interesting as you think but it is to me.

Everytime you step into the restrooms in America, you don't smell something rotten, or something just so disgusting that makes you want to cut off your nose. It's clean! Probably that all the bathrooms, but most of them are really tidy and "white." There is just no color yellow or red splash like the water-painting on the canvas. It's just so white and clean.

Maybe because the U.S. is a developed country, they have toilet tech on the edge. The facilities decrease the numbers of your touch in the restroom. After finish, I'll shake my ass a little bit to let the machine feel me and flush the crap down automatically. haha... Actually, I do have lots of fun when it flushes by itself. I don't know why. XD

See that toilet pic? There is no button or place to push for flushing.

And also, there must be two boxes hung on the wall. (Actually, three boxes, I'll explain.)One is for trash, like the packages of pads and tampons. The other one is the most holy thing in the restroom. TOILET PAPER! There is no way you are running out of papers when using the restrooms in the U.S. They always have back-up paper rolls stored besides the paper box and they are holy free!!!

Now, I'm going to explain why their toilets are so clean is because that they flush down everything along with the human trash. Where are all those dirty papers go? They flush 'em down. Where are all those terrible bloody tampons go? Flush 'em down. The toilet always stays as clean as it has never been used before. To tell the truth, I always have lots of achievements after using U.S. restrooms. Because the next user is not going to hate me for any mess.

The last box hung on the wall, which I've never used before, contains paper for the protection of direct touching. It's, also, flushable!!

The only thing I can't get used to at first is the door. There is a peeking line!!! The door never touches the wall and you can see through it, it's not a clear view though. I've been thinking what this is for, and my answer is to check if it is occupied or vacant. I'm not sure it's right or not, but ... it's truly not a big deal because you can't see anything through the peeking line actually.

So... this is just another reason why I love the U.S. I really enjoy peeing in their restrooms. XD And the most amazing thing is that almost any restrooms are all like this, including restrooms in any rest stops, fast food restaurants, and any other public places.

The bigger, the better

See that cheese section in the mall?! This's why I love the U.S. ! In the so-called freedom land, people here take, eat, and buy things in a crazy way which the largest size is the top one lifestyle. Sometimes, it feels great to find that it costs little each product and no doubt that it still has high quality at the same time. Other times, when you get a super-universal-king size of food, you feel like puking after having a few bites. Actually, everything oversized is really disgusting. But it seems that American are quite proud of it. You can see their achievement by their clothes size ... , and this is another reason why I love the U.S. (haha) I always ask, "Excuse me, do you have smaller one? Like size zero?" when shopping. It feels like I'm the only one who is pretty slim fit in this world. XD

Me and my big brother. We walked from 59th street through the midtown and to the 33rd street on 3rd August. Our feet both got crippled after the marathon. But it's worth it! Smile!

The 24-hour commute from Taiwan to NYC

It's been a long time since I left my hometown. I thought I always take the long flight easy, and feel nothing after landing. But, it happened that my ass was not that satisfied with the seat at all this time. Since I was seated by the window, I couldn't move my ass whenever I wanted to. If I did so, the woman seated by the aisle would probably hate me waking her up. Therefore, after the 14-hour flight from Hong Kong to New York, I heard my spine screaming like, "Hey, you're too fat to let me breathe!" And the result was that it hurt a little bit.

Anyway, the meals were pretty tasty. As the picture shows, I can even smell and taste of the spaghetti again! It did is mouthwatering!

I went to the airport in Kaohsiung at 9 o'clock in the Saturday morning, and landed at JFK airport in New York City in the Saturday evening,(but it's Sunday morning in Kaohsiung.) That is, it took me almost a day to commute from Taiwan to NY!! What a long trip.

This was what we looked like after the 24-hour commute. We were both beated and ugly. XD

Here I come, NYC

Great! Within less than 48 hours, I'll be off the land! There's no word to express my excitement right now. I've been thinking what I'm gonna do on the first day. Actually, even on the first hour, it will be an unbelievable moment for me and that is all left to be imagined.

Give me the evil eye

Wow... this is really crazy funny. This baby got a gift at acting!

Yeah, right, but I don't care

It's cool to have dreams. But every time when you find that you are just one more step further from them, it sucks. People at the same age as me, 18, 19, or just crossing the line of teenage, 20, are all ambitious. It seems that high school students and college kids are born to have big dreams, because our courage hasn't been consumed, I mean, not yet. Like the unbalanced hormone, the eagerness often makes us do it without even thinking what the consequence will be. It feels good. The passion is just like setting fire burning from all inside your body and refilling the fuel at once after sleep whenever exhausted out. It's just freaking awesome to scream out loud when doing something freaking crazy. Being young is great, most likely mesmeric.

I'm kept to realize how realistic it is and how cruel people will be when leaving schools. What's equal to life? Money. What's probably more vital than money? Yes, money, money and still money. Damn, it even freaks me out when typing those stinky words "money" right on my blog. But, it is the ugly truth that no one can deny, isn't it? Anyway, I still don't want to give a shit.

The mind has a will of its own, mine too. So why bother? Eveytime after thinking how shit this world is, I still, at last, look on the bright side of life. Or what? If I don't, I'll commit suicide and be charged with the first-degree murder of myself. The earth is still revolving round the sun, and I'm still don't give a shit about what the world looks like. I'll just, you know, laugh and be pissed off at the same time. Haha... (shit)

H=R/E

H=Hapiness; R=Reality; E=Expectation.
Happiness quotient: H=R/E

Happiness equals reality divided by expectation - is based on the universal truth that you always have some expectation for what is to come. In other words, E is always a real number, since you cannot divide by zero.

But when you invert the equation - expectation divided by reality - you don't get the opposite of happiness. What you get, instead, is hope.

Pure logic: Assuming reality was constant, expextation had to be greater than reality to create optimism. On the other hand, a pessimist was someone with expectations lower than reality, a fraction of diminishing returns. The human condition meant that this number approached zero without reaching it - you never really completely gave up hope; it might come fooding back at any provocation. Someone who is happy would have little need to hope for change. But, conversely, an optimistic person is that way because he wants yo believe in someyhing better than his reality.

This is a way to count happiness by means of Economics which I read from a novel. It just surprised me, then, because I thought it was almost out of the question that motion can be analyzed by logic. I think it makes sense, though.

Now I just come to realize that even having 3 hours free or simply hanging out can be the core of happiness. Capitalism has been ruined our definition of bliss. To name a few, everything is counted by money. It's not love that makes the world go round anymore. Instead, it's money that takes control of world. It's upset, depressing and ,most important of all, cold. While the weather is getting hotter because of carbondioxide and any other green house effect, human world is ironically getting colder than ever.

Why is that? We are all in pursuit of money (if you see money as happiness.) And there must be some people ripped off by those so-called winner in financial competition. Once we are not satisfied with each of our own pies, we are going to steal and cut extra stuffing from others' pies.

Greediness is deeper than Mariana Trench, larger than the black hole and almost the same as the end of the world.

There is a study showing that why Denmark is the happiest country in the world. As you can tell, if it's enough, then Danish won't ask for more. In terms of the quotient, their reality is not that much higher (it is good, though) as that much lower as their expectaion.

Still improve the reality, but try to lower the expectation at the same time.

This is it

There are two ways to be happy: to improve the reality, or to lower your expectation.

Different standards are being used to judge the same things. It's not fair! I did it because I thought so. No one was being hurt by me, and I didn't bother others. So what the hell are you annoyed at? You've got to know that people are individuals. I have my own ways, even though I was made by you. It dosen't mean that I should question every move I make before decision. We both need to learn to let go.

I make mistakes because I have right to make mistakes. I'm still learning. There's no way in hell that's being perfect when being young. The point is not making mistakes though, it's about learning. I just need supports and advice, not judgement or how many points I'll get. I know I have to be a certain age to earn the right to ruin my own life. Since you care about me, you won't allow anything that standing in my way to push me back. But did you know? A bullet-proof window can be an illusion that blocks me out from the outside. I still see what the real world is, but I will never understand how to "be" in the real world.

I can recite your sufferings during your teen period when even sleeping, but my future is no match for your past.

My childhood did live up to your expectation, didn't it? I thanks for the teaching and I know you're proud. I put lots of efforts to improve my reality and could you lower your expectation a little bit?

Dad, I want you to be happy. It's just all I wish.

Reading

Reading is absolutely the best way for me to think ouside the box.

For the past several months, I've been bathed in a chaotic mood, which kept confusing me about lots of life problems, such as what life is, how to be alone, what friends are for, and stuff. I know those kinds of questions are needed to be answered throughout one's life, even philosophers not going to answer them well. But it truly sucks to be jammed in such a intersection. Everytime I turn to my friends or my parents, it all ends up with a conclusion that is hard to take or even say. From time to time, as Randy Pausch said, "Most of what we learn, we learn indirectly." That's really true. It happens that you learn when it did happen. But, I'm just dying to know what people will react to. I'm not saying those who are just right beside me and easily to reach. People around the world have their own thoughts and logic, especially from a totally unknownable culture.

To think outside the box, at times, you just need some advice that is the other way round, maybe quite the contrary. As a result, I find out that reading is exactly the consultant that I've been looking for. Books which I seldom lived with are going to be the best friends during my summer break. I used to hate read because I'm alrealy tired with textbooks and school. In the past, I just wrongly connected reading to studying. In terms of studying, I have to swallow those concepts and digest them into something that people think it's right, while reading, which is a recreation for me now, is just a path that leads me to my own destination. I can depart from regular direction whenever I want to. And the most important of all, the landscape along the roads always surprise me unexpectedly, like the creaking of trees, ripples on the brooks. Those can be compared to the beatiful prose and rhythm sound of rhymes. This, the smooth reading flow of English, is exactly the right thing I live for.

Reading between the lines, what a magical power that humans have, is the most unbelievable ability that I'll see as, when we consider language to be the gifted talent that God gave us.

My struggle is being healed, definitely, maybe. Owing to discovering another world of reading, I, now, can be much happier than I was in the past several months.

Mankind Is No Island

Winner of Tropfest New York 2008, "Mankind Is No Island" by Jason van Genderen.

Speechless, beautiful and deep.

A Thousand Splendid Suns

Lately, I've just finished reading "A thousand splendid suns" by Khaled Hosseini. Wonder it is as good as The Kite Runner? Here's what Washington Post said, "Just in case you’re wondering whether A Thousand Splendid Suns is as good as The Kite Runner, here’s the answer: No. It’s better." Yes, It's remarkable.

I can't certainly assure that you will love it to death, because it's a novel that contains sorrow and depress. However, the book tells the saddness in achingly beautiful prose. That's the strongest reason for me to love it so much. The Afghan elements indeed capture me extremely, but the way the Afghan writer writes in English takes my breath away over a thousand times. For example, "When the words dried up, the tears did not." After reading this, I gasped for seconds, and applauded with appreciation. In particular, I love how he described the move of those characters, such as, "He fished the photo from his pocket." The verb fish is such a vivid word to line out the perfectly detailed motion. Moreover, "You can't never stretch out your legs without even poking a poet in the ass." This one made me laugh for quite a long time!

Back to the story itself, though the leads - two Afghan women - endured and suffered throughout their lives, the end still goes to a complete round. Like The Kite Runner, the process was always twisted but will be peacefully rounded in the end, inspiringly and encouragingly. I think a thousand splendid suns represent the bright side of life. Since Afghanistan is located comparatively on the east (or middle-east), the sun can also mean Afghanistan, the home, and the origins that they belong to. The book cover, a woman facing to the sun, explains all.

Now I treasure both of his two novels, and I'm freakingly looking forward to his next bestseller.

Khaled Hosseini official website:

http://www.khaledhosseini.com/index.htm

I don't like dentists, either.

Have you ever experienced the bone cracking inside you body? Hope you haven't. And, I haven't, either. Thank god for my uneventful life. But, this morning, I felt my tooth cracking just right inside my mouth.

I had three of my teeth extracted. Obiviously, this was my third time to have a small surgery. Generally, I should be a experienced patient and feel no fear at all. Frankly, quite the contrary, I did freak out a little bit and get nervous, because the first two surgeries were both terrible and left non-erasable shadow on my mind. I usaully felt easy to go to the dentist. Whrereas, after those two surgeries, I started to hate dentists.

Anyway, this time was much better. It only cost about 10 minutes to pluck out my tooth. The anesthetic really worked and I felt no pain from the beginning to the end. The only scariest thing was that duing the surgery, though there was no pain, and I coudn't see my blood, I strongly felt the strength pushed from the dentist and my skull was totally controlled by his hands. "Open up, good ... relax " said the dentist. Seriously, how can I chill out? If there is someone cupping your cheek, holding a tool like a screwdriver, poking it into your mouth and twisting at the same time, how could you feel relaxed? Seconds late, he shifted a little, took a unknownable tool and he faced upward. I was like, "Hey, where are you looking at? Aren't you supposed to focus on my teeth? " It looked like he's trying to push hard. And I heard my tooth perching inside crashing. It was really weird, because you felt nothing by touch but you feel everything by sound. Finally, the dentist took a tool looking like pliers and I saw my tooth plucked out with blood.

As a matter of fact, I have four teeth to be plucked out. And now there is only one left to be done. You know what, I now totally agree with those kids crying out loud before going to see dentists. Poor kids, and poor me.

SNYDER'S

SNACK TIME! - In the past, I thought this little chunks were just made of smoked cripy bread and smashed into pieces. I knew there were lots of people loving it and I did, too. Then, yesterday, I decided to grab myself two bags of different flavors - Garlic & Cheddar Cheese. As a matter of fact, this was my first time to read the ads on the package of SNYDER'S. And I was like, "You serious? This is made of pretzel? Gosh ... no wonder it tastes so good! "

"America's Pretzel Bakery Since 1909" is written above the logo. 1909? How traditional it is! It's even a little bit much older than Taiwan. It sounds like, "This company may occupy 1 to 2 pages in a history book. "

Anyway, I strongly recommend this awesome snack! Probably, you have no idea about pretzel. If you wonder the reason why I know pretzel, then go to NY with me. In NY, around every neighborhoods and each corners, you can find not only hot dog stands but pretzel stands which always smell so good. Pretzel is a traditional food traced back to World War II - a Jewish food. It actually appears with the same reason as Bagels - its convenience to store and eat.

SNYDER'S official website:

http://www.snydersofhanover.com/en/index.php

This is what pretzel looks like: (It's always sprinkled with salt.)

Face solitude honestly

When loneliness drives you to find out how to keep away from loneliness, you would be swamped in horror. Because it's difficult to get along with others if you can't be your own friend. Since you can't deal with others, you will be bathed in inexistence. That feeling will keep persuading you that you must be lonely, you must be lonely, and you have to break the silence. You forget that it's the motive which you want to destroy the loneliness that constructs the overwhelming solitude. In this fast-paced city, actually, we all are solitary individuals.

Growing-up teaches you what loneliness is, and loneliness teaches you how to grow up. They both complement each other.

A second ago, I'm just a fragile paper doll without living ability. Parents are both looking after us every single day. A second ago, some of my best friends are just playing hide-and-seek at the nearby park with me.
Blinks later, I take bus by myself, sit in a 200-kilometer-away-from-home classroom by myself, and live in another city all alone.

It's obvious that I'm already an individual, an individual that lives on my own. Thoughts and moves are not puppets of others. I belong to me. At that moment, it indeed comes along with melancholy and solitude.

However, time teaches us not how to solve the problems but how to struggle and get along with problems for good. It is said that"Solitude is a thought of precipitation in storms, and after the storms come a clear sky." "No matter it's in-or-out, clouds must exist. We can't let it disappear, but we can let it precipitate."

The most difficult part for us to divide is the line between solitude and loneliness. Learn to be with solitude and cherish the momemts that solitude brings with. When we get along with solitude, we will clearly listen to our own heart beat, feel each breath we take and face to ourselves more honestly.

This is a perfection of solitude, not a restlessness of loneliness.

A corner of every hearts is occupied by solitude. No matter how you want to get rid of it, or how you want to realize, whatever it is, at last, we all choose to face the solitide and grow up.

-Based on an article of one of my best friends, Saffronist. I just do the translation anyway.


Here is some suggestions of how to be a lone:
Find things that I enjoy on my own
Take up personal projects (creatively or otherwise)
Have ready access to good music (silence makes the loneliness more apparent)
Take GOOD CONTROL over my thoughts
Guide my thought process totally

What a nightmare!

20 minutes passed, I was juat starting to read the first question on the test paper. Everybody had finished the first section already, and my mind was actually overwhelmed by fear and dreads. My palms were sweaty, knees were weak, and arms were heavy. All that I was afraid the most was I couldn't hang out the paper in time. What if I got a horrible score?! What if I couldn't pass the exam?! My minds went blank and my writing went crippled.

"What the...?!" I yelled. Thanks god, I just still laid down on my bed, but my pillow got drenched by sweat. It was 10:48 in the morning. I was supposed to get up at 8'o clock. But, then, it's obvious that after the alarm rang, after the clock was hit by my click, the nightmare began to take place in my dreamland.

It's kind of ridiculous and hilarious that I would have this kind of dream. The situation that happened in my nightmare was exactly the college entrance exam, which was already a year ago. And now, maybe a little affected by the anual exam news, it feels like I'm going back to the moment again, back to experience the whole real nightmare one more time. You can tell that the bad memory is really hard to be erased. As a matter of fact, it was deeply planted at the bottom of my heart. Oh! god, I wish this dream could be once and for all.

The weird thing is that I did do the writing (Eng. composition). And I still remember what I wrote on that virtual test paper. The title was "The best travel experience that you've ever had." I wrote down a trip that I took to the eastern part of Taiwan. Every scence of the exam process is still vivid to me, and this is why I'm indeed shocked this morning.

"You what?!" my mom said, after I described the whole thing. "I don't know. It was crazy I think " I replied.

Yes, I was crazy.

Transformer is transformed to be a flop

Yesterday, I went to watch "Transformer 2". To tell the truth, I was really excited about it, because I thought it would be as awesome as the 1st episode. Before watching the film, I had already listened to the trailer song which is sung by Linkin' Park - New Divide. And I was like "Damn, what a cool song, then the movie must be great." But then, it seems like if you have expected it very much, and you will finally hit the ground hard, as hard as a glassware fallen from the Grand Canyon or something. The movie indeed dosen't have so-called profound meanings. What it shows from the start to the end is all about "fighting" or "crashing". The director just keeps telling us how edging the U.S. denfence tech is and yea... all about the hot stuff scene. I still want to emphasize that the theme song is too good to cheer us up about the movie itself.

I'm really crazy about cheese.

Everytime I enter a restaurant, my nose will be like a radar. It's not just because I'm hungry or greedy for food. I'm talikng about cheese!! Whenever a bread is topped with cream cheese, a pizza or a burger is stuffed with cheddar cheese, then everything is going cheesy for me.

I have no idea why I'm like this. McDonald's was all I got when I was little. Kids love McDonald's because they have toys and french fries, and I did so. That makes sense. But why am I going crazy about cheese when I grow up? That's dosen't make any sense at all. I hate being fat as everyone does. However, cheese is a mysterious thing that will never make me stop eating. Whenever I gulp down a pack of cheese, it's like the whole world becomes a paradise. But after that, the storm is coming. Cheese blows down my calories-counting plan, and let me regret every single day.

"That's why you love American food so much" said one of my friends. "What they eat in all their lives is those smelly cheese, which really smells like 7-day socks, and you're so freaky to love it that way." Ha! I don't give a .... I just love the way it smells, and it does bring me to life. Why dosen't Taiwan produce cheese? I'm so pissed off that all great cheese is imported and comes with high tariff.

I would rather get fat than live withuot cheese.
I can live on cheese and cheese alone in a little island with Willson.

"Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality." - Clifton Fadiman










Blue cheese is my whole life.

World is blue, I can be a smiley though.

A line of the F words probably will not make any impact on someone, especially strangers, but an eye contact or even just a little move will break someone's heart, especially BFF or close friends. I'm the one that easily think too far away about something trivial or worthless. Most of the time, I observe, analyze and read how people act. It works! I must say. Doing something in advance or offering help afterwards according to my observations both make me a better person. But then, I realize that it's not always as good as it is. The more you consider, the more you have to shoulder. Most humans are not difficult (at least not that difficult as some kind of serious pessimist.) We talk, eat and walk by instinct. There is no way to try to model behavior. (I'm not even a social economist.) I find that letting the nature take its course is the best way to deal with relationships, friendships included.

So why that complicated? I told myself that even dogs sometimes are awesome social experts. They don't talk, but they know how to be true. We talk, so we know how to cheat. Anyway, all I want to say is that I just want to let my mind go easy. Without those complex thoughts, I wish I could be a ... um ... a smiley. :)

I feel lucky

Thanks to all my great roommates, almost all my belongings can be stored in their house so that I don't have to send them all way back to my home. That would cost me lots of bucks if I do so. Since last year, I've felt lucky that I could live with them. They are not those who will build a cockroach world or do something bitchy. They won't make noise at late night and sleep like XXX in the morning. They are just kind, considerate, and easy-going! Thank God for the luck!


Yesterday, I watched Mamma Mia. OMG, the songs all are too awesome! I was like, dancing and singing with them from the start to the end. Meryl Streep is fantastic! I have no idea she can dance like this, like a teen girl or something. Though the plot is sort of easy, the atmosphere is indeed funny and relaxing. So whenever you are sad or blue, here is my suggestion: put on the DVD, sing out loud and be a Dancing Queen!!!

These two days

There is still a month away from now. I'm curious about what I can do during July. Reviewing civil law was indeed included in my list, but I doubt the possibility. ha! It sounds crazy. It's like, "Hey, hon! whacha doing now?" "I'm studying." "What? You serious? Are you nuts?" So, summer break is really not a good time to just hold a pen and sit there. Maybe having a part-time job? Like most of college students will do in summer break. "No!" my mom said. In fact, I was pissed off when hearing them turning me down. Why not? I will be paid and gain experiment! Why not? I'm going to argue with them when I go back to my hometown.

But the most important thing that I need to worry about is how to pack all my messy stuff. The dorm room is pretty small. It's a piece of cake fill it up. And now I have to clean it up. My roommates all complain that they hate tidying up those things. But I'd love to do that!!! I like packing things up! It feels like I can finally make myself well-organized and get refreshed!

After that, I can take a long-way bus back home.

The 1st page.

Last year, 2008, I went to New York with one of my friends.

On the first day of the trip, it was extremely disastrous and I had no idea how to get over it.

We were stuck at the JFK, had no connection with my family, and we stayed there until 1a.m. It was horrible.

Anyway, when days passed, we started to enjoy the Big Apple.

New york is smelly.

New York is dirty.

New York is cold. (I mean people are cold.)

New York is where you will die in 1 second. (high-rate criminal?)

After all, you will still love it.

As a matter of fact, I don't know why.

All the things that happend in NY seemed to be unforgettable and cool.

Last August 30th, I thought it might be the last time I could hear the annoying alarm sound of NYPD.

I thought it might be the last time I could take subway around Manhattan.

I was wrong.

This year, 2009, I booked the ticket to New York again. (1st August)

And this time.... I know what I'm going to do.

Not studying, it's too pricy!

Shopping? A little bit... (I'm lying.)

Eating? Definitely, 100%!

Sight-seeing? That's tourist-thing.

I will do something special... and I'll go there with my big brother ! (Justin.)

Wait and see...