The Language of Friendship and Love

The language of friendship. The language of love. Well, I couldn't understand how deep the gap is between these two similar and obscure human talks. Instead of asking what you have for dinner and where you are, does the language of love contain something unspeakable? I'm impressed that however subtle the facial expressions are, we somehow get to know what others are thinking, or at least make a guess.

There are conversation struck up by saying "love you" in the language of friendship, and definitely so does the language of love. But, what interests me is that how we distinguish the definition of love between friends from the definition of love with the right one. So, this is also what makes relationships go more complicated than usual when it comes to the same sex rather than the opposite sex.

As for me, I don't have the experience of being confused about the above mentioned problem, same-sex illusion, whereas I think I've gone through a problem called "love-blind," which I thought I would never have. I'm always armed with the ability to observe in advance and escape in the end. Therefore, the illusion will disappear right in time and leave no doubt. I was proud of it, since every time it's always me that took control. Later on, I failed once. After that, I couldn't speak in the right language.

"You expressed it in a wrong way."

"There is no such thing as pure relationship between man and woman at your age."

"Don't you know that means a lot?"

Maybe, I should take a course called language use,unlimited worldwide version.

Life is good

Quite different from the life I had half a year ago, these days are more relaxing and it feels like, now, I do take control over my 24 hours. I thought being busy and breathless can make someone stronger and more sophisticated, at least not fooling around and wasting time. Then, after listening to my own feeling, I just realize that there is no reason to push yourself too hard if you don't care any of it.

I know pressure paves the path to success, pushes you up to the sky, and tastes bad. By being stressed out, many people, at the end, take the lead because they put efforts on it. Well, they deserve. But, there are just a world of competitions and contests, how can you be the first place in a row? Who says you must win all the time? When I feel the weight of tension and stress on my shoulder, I have no time to appreciate any little but beautiful things around me. When I'm beat, I know all parts of my body are on protest. When I just rush into a classroom in the morning and think about what I'm gonna do in the afternoon, I notice that I'm not concentrating on anything. I hate my thoughts being cut off. I hate always being in a rush and at the end feeling exhausted in bed. I hate having no time to review my days. Busy days do bring me a lot of achievements. But I need time to construct what I've learn and what I've lost, I need some spaces to look in a mirror and see what I look like, and what I am.

I've wondered what fixing chores and running errands can teach me besides arranging time. Is that necessary to do everything at the same time? Is that a good ability? Unfortunately, I always do one thing each time only. I can't divide myself into several parts to do things. Does it suck? Or isn't that appreciated? I don't know.

I love the way I live for these days. I do, maybe because textbooks are not that disgusting for me. The first semester in freshman year was lame. The second semester in freshman year was totally in a "rush." And now, I love being a sophomore. It's not that lame and not that noisy.

Hope it won't be the end

I've questioned myself whether I made a worng choice or not. There were thousands of IFs which freaked me out like crazy. If I didn't, If I wasn't , If I haven't, what would it be? I thought I truly had a person that I could confide in because it's much safer for an outsider to be a listener. I thought the ages could be like a pillow for me to lie on because at least you had more chapters of life than I did. I thought the miles could result in the contact between pens and papers which are more interesting and memorable than the virtual words. But all those IFs are going to be "real. " I even dreamed that was all kidding jokes and everything could start all over again. I do need a person that can share some precious experience instead of the complicated word starting with an L .

It's not hate, but a... dislike

Hanging out with friends, going out until the night ends, everytime I spend all my time being with friends, it just feels so good to have a talk that I willl never forget. It's pretty common that we all forget the colck is still running and the life never comes to an end. However, after all those parties, all those hangover come the emptiness. I don't understand where that feeling comes from, but I do feel it definitely every time.

When it comes to gathering with families, strangely, it never happens. No matter how long I stay in my cousin's house or how late I go out with my dad and mom, actually, I feel more fulfilled than any parties or meetings. So what the hell is wrong with that?

There are some girls' talks that strengthen my thoughts and expand my horizons, but, from time to time, there are still some situations that I do fake it and pretend to be someone that is not me at all. Why am I doing this? Probably, I just get bothered by some pet peeves and I related them to the wrong side. I'm the one to blame.

Is immigration that desirable?

There are lots of Taiwanese being jealous of those living abroad legally and permanently. As a Taiwanese, I do feel envious of their luck and courage to immigrate to a new country and try to blend in a whole different society. I have asked myself, "Why do I want to leave?" Aren't there any benefits to stay where I was born? What in the earth does it attract me to go somewhere people don't see you as a native?

My aunt is a Swiss immigrant from Taiwan. I always wish I could be like her someday in the future so that I can live in the so-called "Garden of the World." The pictures she sent back on Christmas every year are always the best incentives for me to go abroad. A tranquil cottage on a summit of a mountain, a deliberate coffee shop along a river bank and a wonderful birthday party of my cousin with their neighbors. Those pictures all look like a fantastic life for me to dream about.

This July, she came back home with Peter and Daniel, her husband and her son. I finally had a chance to talk in German with those two Swiss guys and also I chatted a lot with my aunt. I asked her, "How is the life there?" "If those two are not home, what do you do to kill time?" And I found that the life there, as a immigrant, is actually not that easy as I imagined. My aunt told me Swiss would be very kind to you just to a certain extent and they will set a line which you must not cross. They have a strong sense of protection, owing to a large amount of immigrants from Turkey and East Europe. Swiss are, as a matter of fact, very careful of getting along with immigrants. They don't want to have a close relationship with people who are not originally born there.

My mom said during the first year when my aunt living in Switzerland, whenever she made a phone call to my mom or my grandpa, she always cried a lot and kept saying she missed home like crazy and asked us to visit her more often. Taiwanese are the minority in Switzerland so, in reality, it's pretty hard for a immigrant to make friends with locals or any other people when being a housewife or a mom. The center of my aunt's life is taking care of her husband and son, instead of any other things or someone else. She may still build some hobbies or learn something when she is free, but whenever it comes to the Chinese New Year or the Moon Festival, all she need is definitely "home."

I have recently questioned myself, "You really want to get to have the citizenship of the U.S.?" There are millions of people-or more- in the world longing to leave their own country and get the citizenship of somewhere else, but what are yo gonna do after that? To start a new life? To pursue the happiness? But how? It's like your own background and family bound getting shattered in seconds. How can you overcome it?

I was thinking...

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The three magical effects of music

What’s your definition of music? Is it simply a sound or a noise? I think music means harmony, memory, and feeling. A song may remind you of the good old days in one of your summer breaks. A song may remind you of the time you hold your friends’ hands tight. A song may also remind you of many faces that you’ve met. Nobody can doubt that music has a strong impact on our lives. I think music is one of the most amazing things in the world. Since you can’t touch it, you can’t smell it, you can’t even see it, you still can listen to it and feel it. Today, I’m going to show you three magical effects that music has.

The first magical effect is expressing. Where words fail, music speaks. Victor Hugo said “Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent.” Music helps us to wordlessly understand ourselves and others, to communicate when there are no words to create through disabilities and barriers. Music is always there when you may be at a loss of words, not know what to say or when words just can’t express your true feeling and emotions. Language alone is not possible. Gareth Gates, a British singer, came second in the first series of the TV talent show Pop Idol. (His best known song is Anyone of Us.) Since he was little, he had struggled with stutter which is a speech disorder that will let your flow of speech disrupted. On his first audition, there were many involuntary silent pauses during his self-introduction. However, when he came to sing, the judges’ chins all dropped and they were all surprised by his talented singing ability. Although he had difficulties speaking, he had no problem singing out who he is and what he thinks. As a quote goes, "Song is the heroics of speech."

The second effect is to accompany. I don’t have the problem like Gareth Gates’. I won’t stutter but I can’t sing, either. Speaking of music, I’m passive. I’m always the one that get influenced by music. Every time I turn on the music player, my minds will go up and down with the pitch getting high and low. Music is like a memoir to me. Some specific songs can remind me of the places that I have been or people that I have met.

One day, just when I had left my hometown for almost a month, I step into a restaurant alone to have dinner. Surrounded by so many strangers and got totally drowned in sorrow due to homesick, my heart was full of tears. However, I tried to pretend that I was courageous and strong, so I wore a fake smile on my face all day long. Suddenly, a song was sung by the speaker. The melody came out and flew into my ears and my heart. The song is called Postman by Carpenters, which was definitely played during the dinner with my family. We have a radio in our kitchen. And this song is my Mom’s favorite. It felt like my whole world was crippled at that moment. I could no longer hold up me tears. As the melody flew, my tears fell. I believe that everyone more or less has the same feeling or same experience as me. As you can tell, we are all controlled and all hypnotized by music. Words may desert us, but music is always present – like a heartbeat, linking us to our world and providing a pathway back “home.” As a quote goes, "Music was invented to confirm human loneliness."

The third effect is to comfort. A study indicates that people get calm more easily by listening to music. Patients will feel less anxious if there is a symphony played in the waiting room of a hospital. There will be less robbery in the train station if soft music is played. Take myself for example, if I get exhausted from study, I’ll play rock and roll to perk me up. If I’m excited about something, I’ll play pop music to celebrate. If I feel blue or upset, I’ll play R and B to get my stress released. Sometimes, you are just too mad or too sad to even shout out a word to express yourself. Then, music is the only thing that you can rely on. "Words are poor interpreters in the realms of emotion. When all words end, music begins.”

As the three magical effects that I’ve mentioned, it is obvious that without music, life is a journey through a desert. Music is to express, to accompany and to comfort. As the most well-known opera tenor singer, Luciano Pavarotti, said "You don't need any brains to listen to music, because good music is very close to primitive language."